Embrace Imperfection

The Secret to a Lasting Marriage:  Embrace Imperfection (Very difficult to do, but we can always keep on trying.)    Contributor : Deb Graham                                                          When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner  every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had  made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.    On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and  extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if  anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my  mom, and ask me how my day was at school.    I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching  him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!  When I got  up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to  my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: "Baby,  I love burned toast."    Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he  really liked his toast burned.  He wrapped me in his arms and said,  "Debbie, your momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real  tired.  And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!"    In bed that night, I thought about that scene at dinner and the kindness  my daddy showed my mom.  To this day, it's a cherished memory from my  childhood that I'll never forget. And it's one that came to mind just  recently when Jack and I sat down to eat dinner.  I had arrived home late as usual and decided we would have breakfast  food for dinner. Some things never change, I suppose!  To my amazement, I found the ingredients I needed, and quickly began to  cook eggs, turkey sausage, and buttered toast.  Thinking I had things  under control, I glanced through the mail for the day.  It was only a  few minutes later that I remembered that I had forgotten to take the  toast out of the oven!    Now, had it been any other day -- and had we had more than two pieces of  bread in the entire house -- I would have started all over. But it had  been one of those days and I had just used up the last two pieces of  bread. So burnt toast it was!    As I set the plate down in front of Jack, I waited for a comment about  the toast.  But all I got was a "Thank you!" I watched as he ate bite by  bite, all the time waiting for some comment about the toast. But  instead, all Jack said was, "Babe, this is great.  Thanks for cooking  tonight. I know you had a hard day."    As I took a bite of my charred toast that night, I thought about my mom  and dad how burnt toast hadn't been a deal-breaker for them.  And I  quietly thanked God for giving me a marriage where burnt toast wasn't a  deal-breaker either!    You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not  the best housekeeper or cook.  And you might be surprised to find out  that Jack isn't the perfect husband!  He likes to play his music too  loud, he will always find a way to avoid yard work, and he watches far  too many sports.  Believe it or not, watching " Golf Academy " is not my  idea of a great night at home!    But somehow in the past 37 years Jack and I have learned to accept the  imperfections in each other.  Over time, we have stopped trying to make  each other in our own mold and have learned to celebrate our  differences.  You might say that we've learned to love each other for  who we really are!    For example, I like to take my time, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm  even-tempered. I tend to work too much and sleep too little. Jack, on  the other hand, is disciplined, studious, an early riser, and is a  marketer's dream consumer.  I count pennies and Jack could care less!  Where he is strong, I am weak, and vice versa.    And while you might say that Jack and I are opposites, we're also very  much alike.  I can look at him and tell you what he's thinking.  I can  predict his actions before he finalizes his plans. On the other hand, he  knows whether I'm troubled or not the moment I enter a room.  We share the same goals. We love the same things. And we are still best  friends.  We've traveled through many valleys and enjoyed many  mountaintops.    And yet, at the same time, Jack and I must work every minute of every  day to make this thing called "marriage" work!  What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's  faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one  of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting  marriage relationship.    And that's my prayer for you today.  That you will learn to take the  good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your married life and lay them at  the feet of GOD.  Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able  to give you a marriage where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker!