Fwd: zen habits: How to Defeat Burnout and Stay Motivated

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Zen Habits <zenhabits@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Oct 12, 2009 at 3:23 PM
Subject: zen habits: How to Defeat Burnout and Stay Motivated
To: jerrytanaka@gmail.com

zen habits: How to Defeat Burnout and Stay Motivated

---

How to Defeat Burnout and Stay Motivated Posted: 12 Oct 2009 05:32 AM PDT Editor's note: This is a guest post from Jeffrey Tang of The Art of Great Things. "Do what you love." We've all heard this advice before. It's great advice, though not many people truly take it to heart. But sometimes doing what you love isn't enough to keep you going. Inspiration, passion, and motivation are difficult things to hold on to. They always seem to slip away right when you need them most. You know that feeling. Where you're that close to finishing a project, or achieving a goal, or crossing a task off your to-do list … but you just can't muster the energy. You've lost interest. You're exhausted. Drained. And you don't know why. That's burnout. It's something many of us are all too familiar with. I'd like to share with you a few ways that I fight burnout – or prevent it from catching me in the first place. 1. Achieve in increments. When you only focus on a big goal someday, it's easy to get burned out by the daily grind. It's like driving toward a mountain in the distance. You can drive for hours, but the mountain doesn't seem to get any closer. And spinning your wheels gets real tiring real fast. The solution is to give yourself a way to measure and record every little step forward you take. Here's how: Get a journal, notebook, or calendar. Writing things down is important. Identify milestones on the road towards your goal.If you're writing a book, you could treat each chapter as one milestone. Or, even better, treat each 500 words or 1000 words as a milestone. If milestones aren't obvious, create them. For example, if you're training for a marathon, hold yourself to a progression of distance. If you start out running at your maximum distance, you'll plateau very quickly. Instead, start at a shorter distance – even if it's very easy for you – then work your way up slowly. Track milestones in a simple, visual format. Think of the progress bar on a download. One glance tells you exactly how much progress has been made. The format you choose doesn't need to be detailed or comprehensive. It just needs to show that you're moving forward day by day. Learn to appreciate the little accomplishments. Let yourself enjoy the feeling of getting things done. 2. Train your muse. One of the biggest myths about inspiration that it's random. One day you're inspired and motivated, the next day you're burned out – and there's no way around it. Or so they say. In fact, inspiration is just like any other skill. It may start out as unreliable, but it can be trained and developed into something you can rely on. So how do you train your muse? The best way I've found is immersion. Surround yourself with things that inspire you and reflect your goals. Great composers listen to music. Great authors read voraciously. Great marketers attend seminars. Great productivity-ists subscribe to Zen Habits. And so on. Immersion trains your mind to work efficiently in the ways you need it to. The more that your inspiration becomes a part of your life, the less likely it is to run out when you need it most. With that in mind, be creative. What ways can you connect with your inspiration on a daily basis? 3. Work less. Cut down on the amount of energy and time you spend working. If you have sick days or vacation days left, take advantage of them. Or, if you're self-employed, force yourself to work fewer hours each day – even if that means turning down new projects. Working less doesn't mean you have to slack off or get less done. It does mean that you: Eliminate unnecessary tasks. Take strategic breaks. Stop multi-tasking. Seek help from other people. 4. Define success realistically. There's absolutely nothing wrong with having big dreams and big ambitions. But if you're constantly frustrated by a lack of progress, it might be time to take a step back and examine your goals. Are they achievable? Are you holding yourself to a reasonable timeline? Here's a good way to do this. Get a piece of paper and write down your big, ambitious goal. Then write down at least 10 specific, concrete steps that will allow you to achieve that goal. Be as detailed as possible. If you can't come up with a series of down-to-earth steps to get you from here to your dream, that's a sign that you need to either redefine your goals or rethink the way you're pursuing those goals. 5. Get more sleep. You've heard this before, I know. So have I. But that didn't stop me from going against my better judgment and tiring myself out by staying up late to work. Getting enough sleep takes a conscious decision – and, just like any good habit, takes time to develop. One of the biggest barriers for me in this area is procrastination. I have a tendency to put things off throughout the day, then stay up later as a result. What's keeping you from getting the rest you need? 6. Take it slow(er). The world tells us to rush things: "Get there faster. Make money quicker. Retire sooner." And while these things aren't necessarily bad, they can easily get us in over our heads. If you're feeling burned out and overwhelmed, it's time to slow down. A few ways to take yourself out of 24/7 high gear: Spend at least 10 minutes a day in a quiet place, away from distractions. Breathe. Put together a playlist of slow, relaxing music. Listen to it whenever you start feeling frazzled. Take a butcher knife to your to-do list. Set a limit to the number of tasks you  take on each day and stick to it. Extend your deadlines. Do you absolutely, positively have to get this done now? Just remember – this isn't an excuse to procrastinate. 7. Get a second opinion. It's hard to spot burnout from the inside. Your close friends and family are likely to identify the signs of burnout long before you do. So listen to what they're saying. The next time your spouse, parent, or best friend tells you you're working too hard, take it seriously. 8. Set clear boundaries. Burnout happens when we allow work to overflow its boundaries and interfere with every other part of our lives. So set strong boundaries. The clearer the better. In writing, if possible. For example, instead of saying: "I'll spend at three hours every night with my family," make it clearer: "I won't work after 8 o'clock. That's 100% family time." Clear boundaries are easier to stick to and harder to rationalize away. Once you've set up your boundaries, make them public. Let your family know that you've set aside time just for them. They'll hold you accountable to your promises. Let your clients know that you'll be unavailable during certain hours. This will reduce the temptation to fudge on your boundaries. 9. When you're working, focus. I've found that concentrating on work is actually less exhausting than allowing yourself to be wishy-washy about it. When you decide that it's time to work, buckle down, eliminate distractions, and do it wholeheartedly. There's something amazingly refreshing about pure, sharp focus. 10. Create outlets. If you're a person of diverse interests (and really, who isn't?), it's likely that you have several very different goals and ideas bouncing around in your head at any given time. These ideas need outlets. If you hold them inside, they'll eventually start interfering with your focus and creating unnecessary frustration, leading to burnout. In other words, I think it's okay – healthy, even – to start a few side projects as outlets for creative energy. Just make sure that you keep your priorities straight and your side projects fun. If these side projects become sources of stress, cut them out immediately. 11. Know when to power through it. This is going to sound out of place given what I've said above, but it's powerful – if applied correctly. Sometimes the solution for burnout is just to power through it. Sometimes burnout can be an illusion. In these cases, the best choice is to refuse to use burnout as an excuse, ignore the fact that you feel burned out, and just work through it. It's like a runner gaining her second wind and coming out stronger on the other side. However, just as an experienced athlete knows when to push through the pain and when to pull back, you'll need to be very careful how you take this particular piece of advice. Until you develop a keen awareness of your own tendencies, it's usually better to err on the side of caution and pull back when you start feeling burned out. 12. Never accept defeat. Burnout is an obstacle like any other. It can hold you back for a while, but it's not the end of the world – unless you let it defeat you. If you have a great goal in mind, don't give up on it, no matter how apathetic, exhausted, or frustrated you might feel. If everything I've said up until this point fails, do this: hold on to your dream – even if it doesn't feel like much of a dream at the moment. Hold on to it anyway. That way, when the storm clears, your dream will still be intact, ready for another try. Get more inspiration from Jeffrey at his blog, The Art of Great Things, or subscribe to his feed.

You are subscribed to email updates from Zen Habits To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now.	Email delivery powered by Google
Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago IL USA 60610

IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM LIFE, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU WILL GET?

The great majority of people in the world drift through life, never realizing that their future will be the one they create for themselves. The minority who achieve great success are people who know what they want and have a plan for realizing their objectives. They know what they want and how they are going to get it. Your goals should be specific, they should be measurable, they should have a deadline for their achievement, and they should be divided into manageable pieces. Know exactly what you plan to achieve, when you plan to achieve it, and how. Review your progress regularly, correct your course when necessary, and never, never give up.

1 Hour Less TV

If we watch at least 1 less hour of TV per day for the next year, that
will give you 365 extra hours, or the equivalent of fifteen 24hr days,
to pursue more worthwhile/meaningful activities.

Suggestions:
Read a book
Learn something new
Talk to an old friend / make a new one
Exercise / do something physically healthy for your body
Spend it with family or friends
Talk to your children, siblings,parents
If you are religious, do something religious or meditation
Rediscover your old hobbies that brought you joy

Be creative! Do what you always wanted to do, or made excuses you said
you never have time for. Time is worth more than money, spend it wisely!

"Lost time," declared Benjamin Franklin, "is never found again."

That's my golden nugget for today.

P.S. I should include "Dont type on your iPhone large entries, because
it takes much longer than on a real computer. Waste if valuable
time! :)

Sent from my iPhone

What Is Success?

Many people in society define "Success" as a well-paid career, a big home, named brand clothing, and a luxury car. Obviously not every does, but many do - and this perception can influence or impact how we live our lives.

I just read how Ralph Waldo Emerson defines success:

To laugh often and love much;
To win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children;
To earn the approval of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To give of one's self without the slightest thought of return;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a rescued soul, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiam and sung with exaltation;
To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded.

All aspects of Emerson's definition of success are attainable away from the workplace, and does not focus on material items as a source of happiness / success.

That's my golden nugget for today!
-Alan

Reading Books in a Paralle and Non-sequential Way

I just read a great article on a unique way to read books. Sometimes we have so many books in our queue, that it's difficult to get through so much material in so little time available.

This person shares his agile way of reading, which I think I'll try from now on.
http://www.noop.nl/2009/07/reading-books-in-a-parallel-and-nonsequential-way.html

Secrets to Raising a Happy Child

Editor's note: This is a guest post from Sean Platt of the Writer Dad blog.

Nature and nurture are in a never ending battle to claim the disposition of our children. While it's true that the apple rarely tumbles too far from the tree, it is also true that there are a multitude of things we as parents can do to safeguard the childhoods of our children, limit their exposure to the more damaging elements the world will see fit to introduce in time, and do our best to raise a healthy and happy child.

We might not be able to help the variety of our branches, but we are the ones who control the nutrients in their soil and the sunlight in their sky.

In addition to the obvious things such as making sure your child is consuming the right nutrients, staying hydrated, and getting the quantity of sleep and exercise a growing body needs, here are 7 secrets that can help you raise a happy child.

1. Let your child know you are excited to see them when they enter the room. Let them see the light dance inside your eyes when their gaze drifts into yours. Be mindful of their presence by showing them your smile and greeting them warmly. Say their name out loud. Not only do children love to hear the sound of their name, they also long to feel validation from their loved ones. Think about it from an adult perspective - wouldn't you love it if the face of the person you loved most lit like a holiday parade every time you entered the room? Your child loves you the most, imagine the returns after a childhood filled with such affection.

2. Teach your child it's okay to be bored. As parents, it's often our instinct to entertain our children each and every waking hour. When we don't possess the time or energy, it is all too easy to allow the glowing blue babysitter in the living room to do the heavy lifting. But when we rely on television, or any other form of autopilot attention, we succeed only in limiting our child's development. Children have vivid imaginations that flourish upon nurturing. But without the opportunity to coax their creativity, it will only whither on the vine. Allow your child idle minutes to develop their creativity with hands-on activities to stimulate their thought. A few sheets of paper and a box of crayons can keep a well rounded child busy for far longer than an episode of Dora.

3. Limit your child's media. Related, but not limited to number two. Limiting your child's exposure to media isn't only a positive move for promoting their creativity, it is an excellent method to broaden their attention span while grooming their ability to stay calm. Your child will have plenty of exposure to more than you want soon enough. During those precious years when you are the designer of their decisions, you must make sure they are learning to live a life independent from the over-exposure that is often too easy to rely on. Yes it is difficult, but we owe it to the next generation to search for the right road rather than the easy one.

4. Let your child know they are more important than work by giving them eye contact and attention. Your child doesn't just need you around, they need you present. Play with your child, interact with them, find out what is important to them by asking questions and listening to their answers. Your child deserves at least a little bit of you each and every day, at least a few minutes where you are not considering your email or allowing your thoughts to wander over what's been left sitting on your desk. Letting your child know they are important is like giving them an insulin shot of happy.

5. Let your child make a few of the rules. You don't have to make them the boss to let them feel empowered. Often, power struggles with our children are the direct result of them feeling a loss of control. You can easily curb these instances by allowing your child to feel like they are part of making up some of the protocol. By at least appearing to give your child some of the control, you are helping them understand household law inside and out. This will lead directly to a willingness to follow.

6. Teach your child - don't assume it's all happening outside the house. Home schooling is every parent's job. Whether your child attends public or private school, or receives all their schooling at home, it is essential to the world's best future that parents are the ones to fill in the blanks. There are plenty of skills not taught in school that play a massive role in determining who your children will grow up to be. Children are not raised in tupperware, and when they finally leave us to enter the world far away from our watchful eyes, they must have the sharpened tools that will help them be the best that they can be.

7. Model appropriate behavior. In my opinion, this is the most important item on the list. Children do as they see, not as they're told. If you want your child to be mindful of others, you must be mindful of others yourself. If you want your child to by happy, you must smile without hesitation. There is no one more influential to your child than you. At least for now.

Raising a happy child is hard work, but it is something that can and must be done.  Once you focus on the needs of your child and ensure you are doing all you can to meet them, your efforts will be rewarded. You will have a healthy and happy child, fortunate to have been raised in a family where childhood wasn't permitted to simply fade away.

The 10 Essential Rules for Slowing Down and Enjoying Life More

The 10 Essential Rules for Slowing Down and Enjoying Life More

Posted: 11 Jun 2009 04:00 PM PDT

Post written by Leo Babauta. Follow me on Twitter.

It's an irony of our modern lives that while technology is continually invented that saves us time, we use that time to do more and more things, and so our lives are more fast-paced and hectic than ever.

Life moves at such a fast pace that it seems to pass us by before we can really enjoy it.

However, it doesn't have to be this way. Let's rebel against a hectic lifestyle and slow down to enjoy life.

A slower-paced life means making time to enjoy your mornings, instead of rushing off to work in a frenzy. It means taking time to enjoy whatever you're doing, to appreciate the outdoors, to actually focus on whoever you're talking to or spending time with — instead of always being connected to a Blackberry or iPhone or laptop, instead of always thinking about work tasks and emails. It means single-tasking rather than switching between a multitude of tasks and focusing on none of them.

Slowing down is a conscious choice, and not always an easy one, but it leads to a greater appreciation for life and a greater level of happiness.

Here's how to do it.

1. Do less. It's hard to slow down when you are trying to do a million things. Instead, make the conscious choice to do less. Focus on what's really important, what really needs to be done, and let go of the rest. Put space between tasks and appointments, so you can move through your days at a more leisurely pace. Read more.

2. Be present. It's not enough to just slow down — you need to actually be mindful of whatever you're doing at the moment. That means, when you find yourself thinking about something you need to do, or something that's already happened, or something that might happen … gently bring yourself back to the present moment. Focus on what's going on right now. On your actions, on your environment, on others around you. This takes practice but is essential.

3. Disconnect. Don't always be connected. If you carry around an iPhone or Blackberry or other mobile device, shut it off. Better yet, learn to leave it behind when possible. If you work on a computer most of the day, have times when you disconnect so you can focus on other things. Being connected all the time means we're subject to interruptions, we're constantly stressed about information coming in, we are at the mercy of the demands of others. It's hard to slow down when you're always checking new messages coming in.

4. Focus on people. Too often we spend time with friends and family, or meet with colleagues, and we're not really there with them. We talk to them but are distracted by devices. We are there, but our minds are on things we need to do. We listen, but we're really thinking about ourselves and what we want to say. None of us are immune to this, but with conscious effort you can shut off the outside world and just be present with the person you're with. This means that just a little time spent with your family and friends can go a long way — a much more effective use of your time, by the way. It means we really connect with people rather than just meeting with them.

5. Appreciate nature. Many of us are shut in our homes and offices and cars and trains most of the time, and rarely do we get the chance to go outside. And often even when people are outside, they're talking on their cell phones. Instead, take the time to go outside and really observe nature, take a deep breath of fresh air, enjoy the serenity of water and greenery. Exercise outdoors when you can, or find other outdoor activities to enjoy such as nature walks, hiking, swimming, etc. Feel the sensations of water and wind and earth against your skin. Try to do this daily — by yourself or with loved ones.

6. Eat slower. Instead of cramming food down our throats as quickly as possible — leading to overeating and a lack of enjoyment of our food — learn to eat slowly. Be mindful of each bite. Appreciate the flavors and textures. Eating slowly has the double benefit of making you fuller on less food and making the food taste better. I suggest learning to eat more real food as well, with some great spices (instead of fat and salt and sugar and frying for flavor).

7. Drive slower. Speedy driving is a pretty prevalent habit in our fast-paced world, but it's also responsible for a lot of traffic accidents, stress, and wasted fuel. Instead, make it a habit to slow down when you drive. Appreciate your surroundings. Make it a peaceful time to contemplate your life, and the things you're passing. Driving will be more enjoyable, and much safer. You'll use less fuel too.

8. Find pleasure in anything. This is related to being present, but taking it a step farther. Whatever you're doing, be fully present … and also appreciate every aspect of it, and find the enjoyable aspects. For example, when washing dishes, instead of rushing through it as a boring chore to be finished quickly, really feel the sensations of the water, the suds, the dishes. It can really be an enjoyable task if you learn to see it that way. The same applies to other chores — washing the car, sweeping, dusting, laundry — and anything you do, actually. Life can be so much more enjoyable if you learn this simple habit.

9. Single-task. The opposite of multi-tasking. Focus on one thing at a time. When you feel the urge to switch to other tasks, pause, breathe, and pull yourself back. Read more.

10. Breathe. When you find yourself speeding up and stressing out, pause, and take a deep breath. Take a couple more. Really feel the air coming into your body, and feel the stress going out. By fully focusing on each breath, you bring yourself back to the present, and slow yourself down. It's also nice to take a deep breath or two — do it now and see what I mean. :)

6 Amazing Techniques to Staying Happy During a Stressful Project

6 Amazing Techniques to Staying Happy During a Stressful Project

Posted: 09 Jun 2009 04:38 PM PDT

Editor's note: This is a guest post from Karl Staib of Work Happy Now!

Most of our work happiness comes from our relationship with ourselves. For example, I'm working on a program to help people work happier. As I'm putting all the research together, writing each section and making it all coherent, I hit walls that stall my progress.

A few months ago I actually flopped on the floor, let out a loud groan and died from exhaustion. Luckily, my wife was home, sprinkled some magic kisses upon me and I came back to life. :) My creativity was stalled by my own thoughts of inadequacy, fear, and anger. The person from whom I needed the most encouragement was myself, and I was being my own worst enemy.

I analyzed the internal problems I was having and their effect on my work. Each one represents a weakness of mine. I will show you how I deal with each one and how I've learned to use my weaknesses to my advantage.

1. Stay Focused on One Project at a Time
Most of the time, I have several things that I am trying to do at once. I could be writing an email and at the same time I am thinking about an upcoming meeting. This split distraction puts strain on my focus and affects the quality of my work.

I've noticed that my attention darts from thought to thought because there is no looming deadline. I'm not forced to produce. So when I need to focus, I set a timer to create a little stress. Stress can be good when it brings focus to a person's life.

Depending on the task, I may set the timer for 30 minutes and try to knock the work out in that time frame. If I need more time, I let the timer beep at me and then I reset it for the appropriate amount of time. This allows me to focus on this one task without letting my ADD distract me.

2. Break The Project Down Into Tiny Chunks
The length of my list on any given day would scare even Warren Buffett. I expect too much and never feel satisfied.

Instead of getting a whole bunch of stuff done, my brain often shuts down in response to my overwhelming list. I need to figure out a way to reduce those negative thoughts by listening to them and reasoning with them. I have tried being a big bully and forcing myself to do work, but this technique always lacked results.

I've created a routine that allows me to handle my work load. When I realize that I have overextended my "to do" wish list, I stand up, breathe deep, and let out the air as I take a moment to refill my glass with water.

I then break down my first big task into twenty minute chunks. When the project seems more manageable, I pick an easier 20 minute chunk and accomplish it. By doing this I boost my confidence and get my emotions back into a positive state.

Once I'm feeling good again I don't feel so overwhelmed by a mountain of work.

3. Split Your "To Do" List
I often feel overwhelmed as a result of my expectations. I expect to get too much work done. I've never been able to accomplish one of my massive "to do" lists in one day. So when my list gets too big I will sometimes split it into two lists.

I create a list that's easy to complete. If I have four hours for work, I make the list equal to about two hours. The second list I call my bonus list.

Whenever I get to my bonus list I feel good about my accomplishments. A sense of accomplishment is the main reason for a list, so make your list achievable.

4. Take a "Weird" Break
I often get mentally locked up because I can't focus on what is right before me. There are too many options. If I have to write an email, generate a report, and work on a marketing plan then I feel hot and cloudy. My overwhelmed mind just wants to shut down. I usually get up and take a "weird" break to clear my head.

During my break I do something a little weird like take a short walk and hang from a tree branch. I find that it's tough to worry while hanging from a beautiful tree. Plus, my creativity almost always starts flowing again.

There are so many ways we can pull ourselves out of a stressful state if we just take a moment to be creative.

5. Connect Your Goals with Your Needs
"Each individual should work for himself. No one wants to sacrifice himself for the company. People come to work in the company to enjoy themselves." - Soichiro Honda

There are times when I'm working on a big project and I get halfway through when I run out of steam. I've lost the motivation.

This is the point when I take a break and try to realign my needs and goals. If I find myself wondering why I'm working my butt off, then I'm the one creating this doubt. Maybe I want to find a new job or start my own business because I'm not receiving the gratitude that I feel I deserve. Whatever the reason for my doubt, I have to internally talk through these feelings. Of course I can talk through these problems with someone else, but it's best to rely on myself first.

Once you figure out what your underlying needs are that aren't being met, you can either let go of them and try to remotivate yourself or take action to make a change.

For example, maybe I want to become a better writer, get more organized, and lose 10 pounds.

I try to attach these needs to my work. Trying to become a better writer is easy to attach to my needs since I have to write for the program I am building. I'll read a writing blog like Write to Done to get myself pumped up to write an awesome chapter.

Trying to become more organized is a little more difficult. I usually choose the obvious path and take fifteen minutes to straighten my desk. This helps me clear my head, feel positive about my surroundings and get back to the task at hand.

Trying to lose 10 pounds is the most difficult to connect with my work. A little creativity is a must. I created a quick reward system. Every time I finished writing one page, I would do 15 push-ups. This keeps me feeling positive about my writing accomplishments and my body.

If you are going to kick start your motivation, you need to find a way that your current work is helping out the future you.

6. Review the Positive
I often get too caught up in how the present moment makes me feel. I create a torturous thought process by magnifying the bad things that are happening to me at my job instead of focusing on all the good things that are there if I just take the time to notice them.

When I'm feeling particularly blue at the end of the day, I turn off my radio and make a mental list of all the things that I'm learning from the stressful project.

My job always pushes me outside of my comfort zone, causing me unrest. Managing stress, implementing big projects, writing clear emails, developing my social skills and all the other interactions that I have force me to become a better person.

I am getting paid to learn these lessons. That's a gift.

By shifting my perspective to the positive, I'm able to let go of my negative thinking cycle and realign myself with the good things in my life.

What do you do to stay happy during a stressful project?

Start Small.....

Start small.

Don't try to make all these huge changes, and change your entire life at once. It's too hard, and overwhelming. You can't do everything at once — you can only do one thing at a time.

So pick one thing to change — something easy. Don't pick the most difficult thing — just the easiest. Something you can focus on for the next couple of weeks.

Be sure you're going to be successful at it — again, it should be super easy.

Then clear everything else off your plate and focus on just that. Really put all your energy into making that change. You might try something simple, like smile more, or to be more grateful (say a prayer of thanks in the morning, and show gratitude to people throughout the day), or focus on slowing down as you do your work or chores.

Start small, and be sure to make this a success. Once you've had that success, use that feeling of success to leverage a second success — something small that you can win at, again. Keep repeating this, small successes, one after the other.

Small steps. That's how you're going to change your life. You'll probably get impatient and want to do more, but trust me: this will work.

Embrace Imperfection

The Secret to a Lasting Marriage:  Embrace Imperfection (Very difficult to do, but we can always keep on trying.)    Contributor : Deb Graham                                                          When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner  every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had  made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.    On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and  extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if  anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my  mom, and ask me how my day was at school.    I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching  him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite!  When I got  up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to  my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: "Baby,  I love burned toast."    Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he  really liked his toast burned.  He wrapped me in his arms and said,  "Debbie, your momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real  tired.  And besides-a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!"    In bed that night, I thought about that scene at dinner and the kindness  my daddy showed my mom.  To this day, it's a cherished memory from my  childhood that I'll never forget. And it's one that came to mind just  recently when Jack and I sat down to eat dinner.  I had arrived home late as usual and decided we would have breakfast  food for dinner. Some things never change, I suppose!  To my amazement, I found the ingredients I needed, and quickly began to  cook eggs, turkey sausage, and buttered toast.  Thinking I had things  under control, I glanced through the mail for the day.  It was only a  few minutes later that I remembered that I had forgotten to take the  toast out of the oven!    Now, had it been any other day -- and had we had more than two pieces of  bread in the entire house -- I would have started all over. But it had  been one of those days and I had just used up the last two pieces of  bread. So burnt toast it was!    As I set the plate down in front of Jack, I waited for a comment about  the toast.  But all I got was a "Thank you!" I watched as he ate bite by  bite, all the time waiting for some comment about the toast. But  instead, all Jack said was, "Babe, this is great.  Thanks for cooking  tonight. I know you had a hard day."    As I took a bite of my charred toast that night, I thought about my mom  and dad how burnt toast hadn't been a deal-breaker for them.  And I  quietly thanked God for giving me a marriage where burnt toast wasn't a  deal-breaker either!    You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not  the best housekeeper or cook.  And you might be surprised to find out  that Jack isn't the perfect husband!  He likes to play his music too  loud, he will always find a way to avoid yard work, and he watches far  too many sports.  Believe it or not, watching " Golf Academy " is not my  idea of a great night at home!    But somehow in the past 37 years Jack and I have learned to accept the  imperfections in each other.  Over time, we have stopped trying to make  each other in our own mold and have learned to celebrate our  differences.  You might say that we've learned to love each other for  who we really are!    For example, I like to take my time, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm  even-tempered. I tend to work too much and sleep too little. Jack, on  the other hand, is disciplined, studious, an early riser, and is a  marketer's dream consumer.  I count pennies and Jack could care less!  Where he is strong, I am weak, and vice versa.    And while you might say that Jack and I are opposites, we're also very  much alike.  I can look at him and tell you what he's thinking.  I can  predict his actions before he finalizes his plans. On the other hand, he  knows whether I'm troubled or not the moment I enter a room.  We share the same goals. We love the same things. And we are still best  friends.  We've traveled through many valleys and enjoyed many  mountaintops.    And yet, at the same time, Jack and I must work every minute of every  day to make this thing called "marriage" work!  What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's  faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one  of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting  marriage relationship.    And that's my prayer for you today.  That you will learn to take the  good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your married life and lay them at  the feet of GOD.  Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able  to give you a marriage where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker!

TAKE THE HIGH ROAD

How to Take the High Road By eHow Health Editor You may have faced moments when you want nothing more than to react loudly when somebody pushes your buttons. Taking the high road will keep the peace. It's the best way to handle conflict and maintain your own moral high  ground. If somebody is giving you flack, here are a few tips to staying zen. Step 1 Take a deep breath. In for five, out for five. Close your eyes to get the full effect. Repeat if necessary until you feel like you're back into control.   Step 2 Smile. Look the person directly in the eye and give them a knowing smile. Usually, people find this disarming and want to smile back. Sometimes, this is all it takes.   Step 3 Respond in a manner that will not escalate the situation. If somebody cuts in front of you in line, smile and say, "Oh, are you in line for the _____, too? I think it starts back there," and point to the rear of the line. Follow this up with a compliment. "Oh, I love your purse," or "Great t-shirt. That's so funny!" will generally disarm any potential hothead.   Step 4 Find some perspective, even if it's hard. If this person has the audacity to simply glare at you and not give in to the request, resist the urge to whap them upside the head. Say to yourself, "will this possibly matter to me in five years?" If it won't, then grin and bear it. Don't let a jerk ruin your day over something trivial.   Step 5 Squeeze out an ounce of compassion. Really open your eyes and look at the person who is bothering you. Maybe they're having a truly awful day, or maybe they are in a hurry for a good reason. Try to assume that these possibilities are true, and then focus on something positive.   Step 6 Shake it off and pay it forward if you still feel like exploding. Find a place in your day to do something nice for a stranger. Open a door, compliment somebody, pick up a piece of trash and throw it away. You'll get a great boost from any random act of kindness and you'll find yourself back on the high road once again.

Self -Renewal - "What do you want to be remembered for?"

This is an excerpt I just read from The Daily Drucker, by Peter Drucker.


When i was thirteen I had an inspiring teacher of religion who on eday went right through the class of boys asking each one, "What do you want to be remembered for?" None of us, of course, could give an answer. So, he chuckled and said, "I didn't expect you to be able to answer it. But if you still can't answer it by the time you're fifty, you will have wasted your life."

I'm always asking that question: "What do you want to be remembered for?" It is a question that induces you to renew yourself, because it pushes you to see yourself as a different person - the person you can become. If you are fortunate, someone with moral authority will ask you that question early enough in your life so that you wuill continue to ask it as you go through life. It is a question that induces you to renew yourself, because it pushes you to see yourself as a different person - the person you can become.

ACTION POINT: What do you want to be remembered for?

9 Habits to Change your Life

One: Internet Ritual

I have to do a lot of work on the web. Reading blogs, answering e-mails and responding to messages can be incredibly time consuming if you let it be. Creating an internet ritual as your baseline can cut two thirds off the time you use. Better yet it discourages wasteful internet usage as you optimize how you surf.

If you want ideas for how to form an internet ritual, read this article. Basically, you can get started by prioritizing the major sites you need to visit in your browsers toolbar. Then commit for thirty days to check those sites only once or twice a day at specific times.

Two: Exercise

Exercise has been a near daily habit for myself for well over a year. Although it may appear time consuming, regular exercise gives enough energy to make up for the time it takes. Finding an exercise you love to do will keep you healthy, fit and mentally sharp throughout the day.

The few times I've been forced to stop exercising for several days, I can begin to notice the difference. My energy levels drop dramatically and I feel slow and groggy. Sure you can work hard if you aren't staying fit. But just because you can, doesn't mean it is best.

Three: Wake Early

Early rising has been an on-off habit for myself. After conditioning it about two years ago for the first time, it doesn't take much energy to resume. The deciding factor of whether to go early bird or night owl depends on when you can accomplish more. If there are a lot of activities happening later you don't want to miss, catching a few morning z's can help.

But generally, if you are working on your own schedule, waking up early can kickstart your day. You can have more quiet time to get work accomplished in the morning. Plus starting your day early gives you momentum to carry forward into your day.

Four: Reading

You could measure this in pages or minutes per day. Saving a few minutes a day to read books will add up. Just twenty to thirty minutes a day for myself leads to over seventy books a year. You can quickly become an expert in a subject if you begin reading that much.

Most University classes I've seen cover about 1-3 books worth of information. Reading 70 books a year can end up being the equivalent of 20-30 courses worth of information. If you want some tips to start the reading habit, read this article.

Five: Organization

I'm a fan of minimalist GTD. For myself that means a notepad in my pocket, a to-do list on my desk and a calendar on my desktop. Forming the habit to maintain these systems of organization has removed much of the stress in trying to hold them in your memory.

Beyond just your tasks, forming organization habits for the major parts of your life greatly reduces stress. If you haven't already read Getting Things Done by David Allen, I suggest you pick up a copy.

Six: Vegetarianism

I started a vegetarian diet about 18 months ago and the change was dramatic. Like adding exercise, cutting away meat products allowed me healthier substitutions. Almost immediately I felt like I had more energy and mental clarity.

Not eating meat is just one of many changes that makes my diet work. If you simply replace meat with junk food, you are worse off than when you started. I've also heard from others that being a "flexetarian" or someone who eats meat only occasionally has similar benefits.

You could argue how you can't give up meat or why it is better for you not to. I'm not here to debate you. All I suggest is that you read some of the scientific evidence that supports the diet and try it for yourself. Go for thirty days and then decide. If you aren't convinced, you've only wasted a month.

Seven: Daily Six

I use a modified version of this approach. What is the daily six? I think it is best summarized by this story I've mentioned before:

A young man walked into the office of a powerful executive of a steel company in the early 20th century. He told the executive he could triple his productivity. All he asked was that the executive would later pay him what he felt the idea was worth. The idea was this:

Each day you write the numbers one to six on a piece of paper. Then write out the first, second and up to the sixth most important tasks of the day. You then begin on number one. Even if you spend the entire day on that one task, there was no way you could have been more productive using any other system.

A month after his speech the young man received a check from the executive. It was worth ten thousand dollars.

Eight: Television

There are a couple ways you can handle television which are usually better than just watching whenever you feel like it:

1. Complete Blackout. Turn the television off for good. Want more time, cut it out for good. It is amazing how much time you can save simply by turning off the tube permanently.
2. Prerecorded. This is the solution I'm using now. I tape any shows I want to watch in advance. Not only does this eliminate commercial time, it prevents a lot of wasted time channel surfing.
3. No Home Television. Another solution I've used is simply to not have a home television (or have no cable if you still want to watch movies). You can watch shows you really want to see at a friends house, but otherwise you won't let television occupy your time.

Remember, the point of habits isn't to become a robot. Your habits should make your life more entertaining, not less.

Nine: Journal

I'm not interested in keeping a diary of every event that happens to me. But a good idea is to set up a journal as your problem solving platform. Any problem, plan or thought you encounter can be expressed and deconstructed if you maintain a journal.

I don't expect you have time to write for an hour each night. That's isn't the point. But starting the habit of keeping a semi-regular journal has greatly improved my thinking. My habit is to go to my journal whenever I have time or a difficult problem and simply write through it.

Pick One for Thirty Days

If any of these habits interest you, I suggest you pick one and try it for thirty days. Simply taking control of one of these habits can have a huge impact on the amount of time, energy or enjoyment you can get out of life. If you have any suggestions to add to this list, feel free to write them down in the comments.

Taken from http://www.scotthyoung.com/blog/2007/08/23/nine-habits-to-change-your-life/

Winds of Change

"Sometimes in the winds of change we find our true direction."

Average of 5 People

I read something interesting, that at any given time we are becoming the average of five people with whom we are most closely associated. Don't ever underestimate the importance of whom you choose to be with.

When you have the opportunity to learn from someone who is exceptionally smart or successful, capture the gems they send your way.

Associate with people you admire and can learn from!

Amazing Life

I just saw a quote from a friend on Facebook:

"Life is too short to settle for anything less than amazing!"

I agree, why settle for anything less!

FAMILY

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
'Oh excuse me please' was my reply.
He said, 'Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you.'
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
'Move out of the way,' I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,

'While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
'Wake up, little one, wake up,' I said.
'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'
He smiled, 'I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'
I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way.'
He said, 'Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway.'

I said, 'Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?
So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

Amazing Marathon feat

A son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?'The father who, despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'.They went on to complete the marathon together. Father and son went on tojoin other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's requestof going through the race together.One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together'to which, his father said 'Yes'. For those who don't know, Ironman is thetoughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a2.4-mile ocean swim, followed by a 112-mile bike ride and ending with a26.2-mile marathon along the coast off the Big Island.Father and son went on to complete the race together.

Click below to view.http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8cf08faca5dd9ea45513

Live Below Your Means

Don't let your house be more than 40% of your income Live below your means
Buy where you what to live; Invest where the numbers make sense
Your house is a liability

Got a Pen?

Never go into a meeting without a pen and something to write on!

Jerry learned this the hard way! He went into a meeting with the President of the company, without a pen and a pad. While everyone else around him was jotting notes from every comment of the president, Jerry found a scrap of paper and asked to borrow a pen from someone. His manager chewed him out!

After that, lesson learned was to never go into a meeting without a pen and paper. Especially in high power meetings with important people.

Change = Opportunity

When there is change, there is opportunity.

Call rather than email

If you have the opportunity to call someone instead of emailing them, give them a call. Personal calls are more valuable than sending an email.

Panic = Profit

When there's panic, there's profit...

Essential versus Non-Essential

Don't work on anything that isn't helping you get to where you want to be in the future.

Things we do in life are either "essential" or "non-essential". Try to focus on essential things that help you reach your goals, and to elliminate any non-essentail things or activities.

Value of Measurements

You can't improve what you can't measure.
What gets measured, gets improved.
Having metrics on key areas, will lead towards improvements.

So if you want to improve something in life, business, work, start measuring it. Put numbers behind it, and start to work improving those numbers.

What is a JOB?

JOB stands for "Just Over Broke"

Ontime is Late

Always be early! On-time is late!

Activity versus Accomplishment

Don't Confuse Activity for Accomplishment